10 actors designed to destroy a film

I believe all the actors of the world have equal talent.Its just that they use their talent in a different manner.Haha I was joking truth is that only 2.32% of the industry has the real talent rest of them just go along the 2.32% to pull thru the film.But few of them really cannot be pulled by these 2.32, however hard they try.These people are the real destroyers.They destroy a film even before the script is ready ( if there is one ) or they put their eyes on the camera. Its not that they lack something , they lack talent! They are the ultimate crowd repulserers.I still wonder what gets them hired? huhh...Heres a list of top 10 destroyers

1. Sohail Khan : An actor of immense talent.He is a self made man.He is not only an actor but he is a producer of class ( might b this explains why he is hired).He has produced films :

• Main Aur Mrs Khanna (2009)
• Partner (2007)
• Fight Club - Members Only (2006)
• Lucky: No Time for Love (2005)
• Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya? (2007)
• I..Proud to be Indian(2004)
• Kissan(2009)

All of these films need no introduction .They all are in the class of The Godfather. Only thing is that our illiterate Junta doesn't understand their significance.These films broke all the distributors instead of box office. Few committed suicide alongside the audience.
Now coming to his acting.It is simply par excellence.He is able to convey all the emotions ranging from extreme sadness to maniac depression and channel these emotions to the audience in the form of pure rage.It is normal to see people bursting out of the cinema in anger!
I was fortunate enough to see few of his films in intercity bus where one has no option but to see the film. Due to heavy demand for his fotos I could grab just half :( . I can very well say he is the best amongst the 3 brothers which are a part of this coveted list. This multifaceted actor also writes!! FYI he was the writer of the cult classic "Hello Brother" Must watch for everyone with good taste.I would say keep up the good work!

2. Ishrat Ali :You would say WTF ? Who the hell is Ishrat Ali? He has a stronger screen presence than you think. I became a fan of him after I saw his film "GUNDA" one of the real classics. His dialogues really touched my heart. His tagline was "Mera naam hai LAMBU ATTA ! deunga tuze maut ka chata ". He is simply huge in the film and after mithun , all the film revolves around him.
In Gunda, he is the gangster who by mistake rapes Bulla's sister. Then Bulla alsong with his other mates corners him in a Chawl .Lambu tries to reason a lot with bulla "Roti hoti hai khane ke liye....boti hoti hai chabane ke liye...ladki hoti hai......******" .Still bulla wants to kill him!! WTF..now lambu tries more than this he says "Mai tere liye ladkiyan laaunnga...tu muze chil chal ke hijda bana deena" And does a kathak ( some dancing talent here ) but suddenly and oddly bulla stabs a knife in his KIDNEYS!

Besides Gunda he has also worked in 71 different films!!!!! Ranging from greats like "Bichhu" to "Krantiveer" !

3. Celina Jaitley : Well she was given a break by the legendry Feroz khan the "desi cowboy". Unfortunately she needs a break every now and then.She is not very rich and therefore has not much to wear. She also has an affinity for short-shorts ;) . Well there is not much to write about her talent. she does best what she is best at...standing besides fardeen! Ya some people suspect she the actve member of LGBT community .Dont be amused to see her in parliment within few years. Trust me she even has a fan site...


4. Shakti Kapoor : AaaaOUUU Shaktiii! needs no introduction. Wat an actor ,what an actor! In raja babu as the Nandu with a "Nada" to "Chutiya" in Gunda . He is sort of urban legend and had one hit film which I dont remember. He is a legend because he has survived more than 500 flops but not as a hero. Recently he was caught on a casting couch scandle ! poor shakti was made a target of the media ! well which man would not like to "take advantage" of "helpless" "girls" ( except for the one above) ( Mind the quotes! ).In gunda he plays a role of eunuch with a pony tail .Thats why he is chutiya ( not what you think! ). He becomes a "man" with "the pill" n does what a normal man in gunda does ! His different facet emerged in film Raja babu as a side kick of another legend in the business Mr Govinda .All he does is wears a bermuda with suggestively hanging Nada.Though he did play a good role in Andaz apna pana as Mr Gogo but it does not help much..lets hope he rambles on...

5. Govinda : How could we forget govinda aka Chi Chi.He was the hero of the masses. He is the living great! He started very early as a stick and now he is BOX and tending very much to a CUBE. He is the hero of the great "No 1" series : coolie No 1,Hero No 1 ,Biwi no 1 .He has a style statement rather a style paragraph of his own .He invented the Red suits and yellow ties and blue shirts . he is a sort of vince Van Gough in colours.He is known for his dancing. He ll suit any acting role given to him.I am sure he can very well play Forrest in forrest gump or Oskar von Schindler in Schindlers List ( where david dhawan would be directing ). He has not changed his acting since 70's and still dances with actresses 10% his age ! Few years back he contested for elections and won and worked so hard that.....he again became an actor! but this time he was much cooler ( not that he was not cool before ) with two earrings in both the ears! I am sure he ll act or next 100 years

6. Antara Mali and Nisha Kothari : These two "women" share the same spot .I donno why but logically they seem to be connected to something , I just cant figure out what .Rumor is tht Antara mali was discovered while she was begging on the street for food .Well it could be a true story ! she did some 10 super hit films to realise the ultimate truth ! One also needs other kind of talent to survive in this industry (I was talking about acting!) .Her classics include "Mein madhuri dixit banna chahati hun" which she knew was quite impossible. Her inner anexieties were reveled in her box office hit "Mr Ya Miss".Since 2005 shez dormant
Nisha URF priyanka is just a gem in skimpy cloths !

7. Fardeen Khan : Well he had his father who hired him .Launched him with a bomb shell due to which his first film bombed! later on the bombs kept falling. His dialogue delivery is impeccable! only thing that he does not lack is is height...he is estimated to be around 7-8 feet tall !! He keeps on giving guest appearances in the films he STARS !!! he wont run much and might turn to directing/producing soon !


8. Himmesh : Apna himmesssh bahi is an actor of calibre ! he has never given hope of being at the top .Well it is very much possible .I am just waiting for Radio to come out! It was again romoured that none of the actresses were willing to work with him ! not even celina ! finally some two gals agreed ! he was so grateful that he hired them both .This was the first time the son of gujrathi soil removed his cap to reveal his toupe or hair whatever...there is a famous dialogue in radio.."What is your relationship status?" he says .."Its complicated!" well we all know that.
Then there is the song...mann ka radio that has already hit the airways! His first movie was "aap ka saroor - a true luv story" .All the truck and rickshaw drivers went crazy over this movie! they used to wait outside the theaters to take ppl home for free!!! such is the following . He surely has a long way to go to realise the TRUTH .I wish him best of luck right from depths of my nose.

9. Bobby and Sunny Deol : cousins of famous Abhay deols,are famous for delivering heavy dialogues, making their own scripts , directing their own movies ,acting in their own movies and watching them them selves! They along with Dharmendra paaaji are industry in themselves ! Bobbys acting in Bichhu was nominated for golden globe and academy awards. He played a role of freelance assisn with morals .He along with then heavy weight rani mukherjee delivered a super duper hit.He will go a long way unfortunately! Sunny has degraded in a slow manner with punching a man and truck at same time,Catching bullets and pulling handpumps.He dosent give up his dhai kilo hand .

10. Salmaan Khan : Well if you dont know him you are a nut! It is very easy to spot him, it would be some one who speaks english in american accent and even hindi in american accent !!
He along with his two talented brothers have a production house to keep them all employed. At one time salmaan was really talanted but has been going downhill since long.Actors improve with age but salmaaan is non-conformist. He has choosen to degrade him self. Now he is jumping up and down on your TV set. He has more than 2 decades of experience .He was launched with "maine pyar kiya" he just climbed the hill then it was time to come back down with "maine pyar kyun kiya" to cult classic "Hello brother" .It is said that even the director and cameraman did not see the movie! Amazing!
Other than the controversies and girlfriends he is clean as awhiteboard! He will be a 40yr old rock star along with ajay in his next film 'LONDON DREAMS' ! just waiting for it !

Mann ka radio

Today full day this song stuck in my head..giving me a weird feeling..nauseating to be precise..
Mann ka radio . Is a pure crime against humanity....I tried to search for full lyrics but would always end-up getting the crappy old video..
It starts with a busty black lady walking with a chikna tel (oil) slapped almost gujrati guy.
The guy starts singing from everywhere except his mouth ...mann ka radio ...bajne dee jaraaa...
Then few skimply dressed "gals" start dancing.I bet these gals were high on something not to realize what to dance on. When I heard this song for first time I really got hooked to its meaningful lyrics.

"Mann Ka radio bajne de jaraaa"
"station koi naya tune karrlee tu jaraaa"

Then one of the best lines of all time
"Fulltooo ( I donno how to spell fultoo )attitude dede tu jaraa"
I wonder whom should we give this fulltooo attitude...

then skipping all the other meaningful lines we jump to the last line
"Band jo baaji teri, milke tu bhi saath gaaa"
WoW this really shook me to the core.Must admit the earthly touch.

The end streach really brought tears in my left eye.
"MaaaanKaaaa Radiooo...." with the famous nasal twang.This takes your breath away.

Now coming to the video. Himmessss bhai looksss pakkaa roooook ishstarrr...thats what people commented. This redifines the rock genre. Savage Garden made a similair video few years back but I am sure its a pure co-incidence.Why would such an immense talent get inspired in such a way.
Enjoy this song : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yls-B0ax6EU

100 songs that must hit ur ear drum b4 u start loosing ur senses

Voila! ere it goes....wat i do most of the day is b at office...it really suks n kills me...the catcher in the rye line...but therez always a turn arnd. In this world of K.A.O.S. u really find sanity in something you like...something u desire..its not the animal/human instincts like food ,sex or materialism but something that comes within u! Its mostly company of u r friends or music...I do that all day...just listen to music...new n old all...classsic rock, punk, electronic, heavy metal, alternative, hip-hop every crap thrown at you....Like all the pieces of art only few of them are good ...i.e. really good....rest of them are like ppl you want to 4get. Bad music is just a pain in ur A** rather than ears.. herez a list of first 10 of the 10 instalments

1. Stairway to Heven - Led Zeppelin:
I really cannot classify this song as being of any genre...first time I heard it...was like its kinda ok song .but it really catches hold of you once u start listening to it...This song is considered the best song rock n roll can offer! coincidentally it never even reached top 40 in US billboard, it is an indicator of what tastes ppl have developed .Led Zeppelin is the greatest band till date .There are enough reasons for this statement. 4 of the worlds most talented people. The music they created was something only an artist can understand all they have shown is pure creativity that no other band can match..what will really strike you abt led zeppelin is the number of interviews they have given.They were/are extremely media shy.Also the number of music videos you have seen.
The greatest part of Stairway to Hevean is its guitar solo by jimmy Paige in the end...have to listen to IT.One of the most complex songs lyrics wise.

2. Free bird-Lynyard Skynyard (ske-ee-ne-rd)
The southern band, do i need to say more.Lyrics are one of the best I have heard..."If i leave you tommorrow would you still remember me...".The LIVE version is the best version .Its famous for its 13 Minutes with 7-8 mnutes of guitar solo.The best guitar solo ever.As an amateur i really can admire that. MUST listen.FACT: 3 of the members died in a plane crash :(

3. Cortez the Killer - Neil Young
One of the greatest song writers till date.Neil is of canadian origin.This song is about spanish explorer Cortez who was famous for butchering native south americans.He tries to put another perspective with his lines "...hate was just a legend ...war was never won...people lived together and lifted many stones..." He was largly criticized for his views.The song has amazing calmness and a great guitar solo .Not worth missing.Many other bands have also covered this song Joe satrini ,Dave Matthews Band.

4.Hey Jude - The Beatles
This is one of the best songs by the 4 some.The band is the best selling band till date.Even individually n still are selling.Though i m not a big fan but this song really rocks..with Na...Na Na....NA Na NA Na...hey Jude

5.Bohemian Rhapsody -Queen
I used to hate this song but some how it really caught on in my head because of its wierd lyrics.
Queen is kinda Gay band :D...thats why ppl generally avoid it! its a song to go for..."sometimes I feel I ve never been born at all....."

6.The End - The Doors
This song you will like only if you like alternative or psychedelic numbers.This song really puts you in a different world all together.The band was thrown out of Whisky Ago go for controversial lyrics "..father..yes son..i wanna kill you..".The song was used in "Apocalypse now" making a big impact.

7.Another Brick in the Wall - Pink floyd
I still am a big fan of this psychedelic soft rock band.This was probably the most known western song in india.It talks about the rigours of the british school life...great guitar solo..

8.The WonderWall - Oasis
This song is one of the modern time classics.Every amtuers dream song

9. Fade to Black - Metallica
The american Metal band really rocks with this one...ahhh..simply no words to describe this songs.

10.Iris -Goo Goo dolls
This song is from OST - city of angels.The moive was crap but the only thing that held it was this song.This was the only song worth mentioning for this band.

really famous Quotes II

1. D'oh!
2. Excellent!
3.I ll be in my room!
4.okley dokley
5.Suite up!
6. how ya dooin

Famous Quotes!!

Well there r many ppl quoting the unquotable...quoting there unrelenting talent to the already miserable population . herez few of them:

1. Arrey car ekdum sahi hai...koi bhi scratch nahi hai...sirf 3 dents hai...
.."Hey the car is amazing no scratches at all , only 3 dents "
-Manish Nachnani
This was in refrence when he was buying a second hand car.which he later on got.

2. "This perticular..Machak machak" -
-man with many names
This was used to point out to things on mainframes even if it is just one thing.The frequency of usage made it famous...

3. "you dont seem to be intrested in this appraisal"
- My appraiser
The only sensible true quote...when he saw i was wearing floaters plus many other things

4. "kya reee...bahut hui kya tere kooo"
No translation possible
- Raju Munta
This was specally directed towards me when i used to mock him.

5. "aisa lagta hai ki kuch pehni hi nahi hai usne"
- Raju Munta
Pearls of wisdom thrown at us while growling at a busty "babe"

6. "kya reee...tere ko samazta nahi kyaaa"
-Veerappan
Towards me wen i used to act dumb...

7. "Yaar ek hi fries lete hai...i m not hungry"
-Atul Zade
Will power to save money

8." He Hee Heee ..."
Noise from nose.... -Skeletor

9. "Mad**&^ ,Bhen%$%$ "
- My roomie

will add few more

Drivin Round the corner, outie on the streets

I am standing on the bus stop alone . Even though it is just 5:30 pm, it is as dark as night .The cold is spine chilling . My hands are in my pocket .Getting my hand out even for a minute will cost me dear. The winds so chilled they remind you of hell.The bus is late. opportunistic People who had to be hated were hated.I didn't deserve this.I shouldn't be waiting for some public transport to carry me home! But i did not have any choice. I wanted back my freedom.I said to my self " They can take our lives but cannot take our FREEDOM!"....
Chapter 1 : The birth
In my junior college years I found this freedom in "cycle". My college was pretty close by about 3-4 Kms from my house, so commuting was not a problem. The only problem I faced was the embarrassment .At that time having “Bajaj sunny” was considered a big thing. I felt lowly that I am riding on a cycle while others come on bikes and few “filthy rich” came in cars .I tried many things to get my hands on bike, like, its difficult, I am becoming thinner, my pants get dirty etc but my father wouldn’t budge (He never said anything actually, that really confused me). Going to college required much less efforts than now to my office . There used to be a flyover (it still is!) enroute. Climbing it was an uphill task .My classmates sometimes used to offer me a helping hand on their bikes. My ego used to stop me (and it still stops me).Parking cycle and to avoid paying 50ps was one of the few skills I had developed through my junior college. I had even found a place where there was free parking but it took too much effort. Those were times of personal recession but certainly better than now. I still remember songs from that time “Iris” from Goo Goo Dolls (I used to call them “go go dolls” until corrected by a good foe). Whenever I hear this song all I remember is the flyover and my college besides it. Rains used to bring in some genuine problems, all of my jeans had some or the other tinge of brown color. Braking was another problem .I used to fix the cycles’ brakes myself. I had observed braking in fact increased my speed instead of slowing down. I had a very pleasant experience of getting slapped by a beautiful lady for having driven right into her (this is the second biggest secret of my life). Moral of the story : ”there upsides to everything”. I used to break using my feet and avoiding possible distractions .So the rainy season also brought new shoes along. My cycle was a mountain bike. It was pretty heavy and biker unfriendly. The seat used to make my sitting funny for some while. Now the times have changed, cycling is cool again, unfortunately I don’t cycle (being cool and me are mutually exclusive) .The only place I cycle is from my office parking to my office, which is a good 1 km (as per my colleagues, but ill bet it is 999.99 m). Early Mornings are pleasant, when you cycle from the Car parking every thing favors you (If you find a cycle) the slope is with you, the sun is against you, the wind is in your hair, what else a person working in my office would want. Evenings are tough. Going up the hill requires more efforts than using your brains! No wonder there are no cycles there in the evening, cause our software engineers prefer walking.
Chapter 2 :the lean teen
I got my “real” freedom when I got my bike. There were lots of arguments on which bike to buy. My father would always insist on buying the most fuel efficient and cheapest bike and I would fight for the least fuel efficient and costliest bike. Finally the logic prevailed and nobody won! I bought a bike that no one would buy later on. I had risen from my grass root levels. With bike under wings , my soul got freed .I no longer needed my legs (I predict they would be extinct with in next 2-3 generations) .Now that I was high, I thought all I needed was my ass, but that was the least thing that I needed. I needed to learn how to drive a geared bike. For two weeks, I used to come down to the parking and clean my bike, kick start it, try to put it in the gear, fail miserably and go back. I had become a sort of joke in our campus (I was better at the grass roots). After lot of persuasions, my father took me to a ground nearby to teach me. My father has a short span of patience like most of the fathers .We returned triumphantly in two minutes with me disappointing my father N+1 th times and me getting sworn at after every 1.36 seconds.
He easily gives up on me, plus I have a very good track record with various sports like tennis . I had lost all my hopes. But results come from most unlikely places. Mine came from a boy, 5 years younger and million years dumber to me. He taught me clutch control, which I still haven’t forgotten .I could ride now.I started riding in our campus. Soon I crossed 100km mark in our campus .I had become a sort of a legend in our campus like “batman” or “robin” .I began venturing out that too without a license .I had become a man, but I had still not learnt the most important thing , ”HOW TO SWEAR” at people , especially the evil cycle riders and pedestrians. Few of my first lessons came from the extremely humble car drivers honking from behind and respectfully calling me “CHU**A”, “GA**U” …and. They were at a higher level in the “traffic chain” they had the full right to abuse me in every way they could. There was a good addition of words to my English, Hindi and Marathi vocabulary in few years and I used them frequently. In west honking horns is considered as a way of protest against bad driving but not here, honking is an integral part of Indian culture. There is a saying “honk before you drive” .I soon majored in driving a bike. Now I could drive a bike with my eyes shut, ears closed and mouth open. My bike became my second girlfriend (got promoted few years back). With properties very similar, troublesome and costly, my relationship bittered a little bit (with bike of course). My bike had an amazing property of getting punctured at the most unexpected and urgent times. Not that it did not get punctured at expected times, it did that too. Normally the places where I would have a flat tyre would range from most populated narrow lanes to open highways. Soon came a time when I had become an expert in knowing the nearest place of the fixer. My popularity grew amongst the tyre repairers, as I was for few years their best customer. I also became an expert in analyzing a type of puncture. There are 27 types of punctures ranging from catastrophic puncture (where you have an instant flat tyre and can fall flat on face .I had 3-4 of these) to slow non-harmful punctures (for more information do your own research on the remaining 25). Changing the tyres solved my problem. The reason was the defective tyre used for the bike ( and the company claims to be the best in the world).Other than this I faced few problems. I had the liberty of driving as rash as I can. In my city the bikers rule.
chapter 3 : the divide
According to a thorough research done by some famous unknown scientist there are two types of drivers.First type of driver, lets call it “X”, thinks that the world is ideal. There is no pain suffering in the world cause it always gets the preference. One should always drive in straight line irrespective of anything. One should drive at exactly 40Kmph in the middle of fast lane. In case there are some accidents one should always swear in English at the other type of driver, lets call it “Y”. One should use words like Bast*rd (did I use less number of * ‘s ), As***e etc. and most important one should wear darkest of shades on the eyes. I can recognize this driver from miles.The other type of driver i.e. “Y” knows that the world is not ideal (at least for him/her) and drives.I had few experiences with “X” kind of driver; mostly they have their head and face covered. My sister is one of them. The “X” type of driver also gets concessions from the traffic cops and “Y” type will almost get penalized. That’s why there is a saying amongst “Y”: “ …hai… dand hai”
chapter 4 : The Mama and Me
One thing I still didn’t learn till today, is dealing with traffic cops. I have a long history with them .I am kind of “History sheeter”. I had got a license after just few months of getting a bike. Getting a license is not a difficult task especially in India .Few of my friends had never touched a steering wheel and they had full-fledged licenses. This shows the support the Indian government gives to its citizens by trusting them. But I would still say getting a license in Denver was easier. Traffic cops have many synonyms; “Bagla” meaning swan due to their white shirts, “Mama” meaning uncle, the most commonly and respectfully used term. They are known for their love for bike rider’s especially male riders. Most of their funding comes from the urban, male bike riders. He would be wearing a clean white shirt and khaki trousers with black Ray-ban shades with golden rims.They strike you where you least expect; they are kinda super heroes at catching you. They would hide behind a tree, temple or any construction and pounce on you. The conversation would go on like this
MAMA: LISHENCE?
ME: (In Marathi, trust me knowing Marathi does help) aahe naa (I give him the license).
MAMA: (little sad after seeing I have a valid license) PUC aahe ka?
ME: Hooo ( Yes ! ) ( I give him the PUC )
He checks the PUC .His face whitens as he thinks ,how the hell am I supposed to feed my family or my dog.
He spits out his gutkha on the road contributing to the “roadside arts” .
MAMA: INSHURANCE ?
ME: YES!
He knew I was a tough nut to crack and would disappoint him again. He has few more things to throw at me
MAMA: Gaadi che kagad patra aahet kaa? ( do you have bike’s registration papers? )
I get caught there.
ME: hoo aahet na pan atta nahi ,ghari aaahet ( I have it at home )
I could see a smile on him even though he was not smiling.
MAMA: bajulaaa yeee ( come to the corner )
Starts to scare mee.
Not carrying RC is an offence! You should always carry the papers , now pay the fine. He starts scribbiling something gibberish on his notepad .
MAMA: ( still looking down ) have to pay a fine of Rs 1000 .
ME: WHaaaaaaaaat! It is impossible .I do not work and am unemployed. Not possible for me. See if you can lower it.
Thinks for a while…..
MAMA: OK . shambhar ( 100 ) madhe hoil
ME: ( still muttering and cursing him ) heee ghya ( Take this ! )
I am still witing there .
MAMA : JAA ATAA ( go now )
ME : Reciept ?
MAMA: ( Angry ) JAATOS KA AATA ? ( GO NOW!!!! )

Oh that was a bribe! Great ! now I had become a small gear in the bribing culture. Paying Rs.1000 and getting a receipt would surely soothed my conscience but wallet speaks louder. Doesn't it?

My experience was always mixed. lowest possible was a drunk cop ( that too in the morning) at the signal caught me for having a wrong number plate. I fought with him tooth and nail insulting him and paying him the shambhar without a receipt. Next morning the same cop came at the signal .seeing me he turned his back and went away ! There are few good ones who give you a receipt ,once a cop even gave me back my shambhar ! The cops firmly believe that you are a criminal only if you get caught .In fact I have seen breaking the signal is more advantageos than stopping at one. Innovation is one of the few things I have observed in traffic cops. Some time back, they had started using loudspeakers at signals .A cop used to give running commentries at people breaking law.If you crossed the zebra crossing he would hurl an insult at you loudly :” kaa ree baiko waat baghat nahi ka tuzi gharat” ( is your wife not waiting for you?) .There is always an increase in the cop activities when festivals are close by.
chapter 5: the theory
“Traffic chain” like “Food chain” is fully respected by cops .they don’t touch the beings above the bikers.The carwalas come just above the bikers ,carwalas are so holy that they are never touched ,no matter how rash they drive.I have never been caught while driving a car! The traffic chain constitutes of pedestrians and animals at the lowest rung .They are hurled abuses by all the upper rung beings.then above the pedestrians come the cyclists . above it the motorcycle riders ,above that car drivers and to top it all the city bus drivers. I did not have much of an experience of city bus drivers as public transport is not my kinda transport .As brief spell of six months in Denver made me use it. City buses own the road .They are at the top of the pyramid .They can stop any where they want .Knock any one out. If you think Mr 007 has a license to kill ,these guys do the service to the society by reducing the population. Few months back , each day a person used to get sacrificed by them .Burning of buses was a ritual that followed it .bus drivers need to be fit to run long distances to save their asses , the situation has improved recently. Only few bus drivers get caught.
chapter 6: the adolescence
I have been driving car since last few years , it is pretty cheap to own a car as long as you are not paying the expenses .I had learnt driving car longtime back. All you need to drive a car is confidence . That is all I had and still have. People always had doubts over my driving skills. My parents along few of my friends think that my driving is really rash. I would beg to differ ,I have a clean record .I haven’t killed anybody as of yet ( is there some wood around ). I know where the problem lies .Its with the undisciplined traffic. Traffic lanes are a kind of myth in my city. Reaching a place is struggle to the fullest extent. Foreigners are amazed to see this chaos. One of my friends from France, though she had stayed in India for 5 years, used to wear seat belts .She used to say “ Vous conduez comme vouz etes fous!” (you drive like a mad person) .Once she had turned completely white ( white in the purest sense ,she being a Celt ) with fear . This really opened my eyes to nothing .I still drive the same way. Multitasking is my forte .I drive while searching for that perfect song on my iPod while rest of the occupants keep on instructing me to look in front. Mobiles are few things that I avoid while driving. My parents think I drive too fast.On expressway it is common for people to clock 120kmph .My mom and dad keep on reminding me of this speed. Dad also keeps on giving me few fake examples ; our lawyer had nearly died in a car accident ,coincidentally he was also driving at same speed ( OK ! I would drive at 119 !)
chapter 7: the firangs
Driving in US was a completely different story .Fines of $250 plus were common and that is a huge amount even in US. My “friend” reminded me not to blow away my salary on tickets. Driving on the left hand side was weird and difficult .I always get confused between RIGHT and LEFT. One of the few tension filled moments in my life come when people tell me “TURN RIGHT!” oh shit!! What is right ? I try to remember the hand I use…to write ( I am a lefty ) and then I calculate right. Is this the problem faced by all the lefties? I am not even a perfect lefty , I play a guitar using right hand and using the right handed notations. May be that is the reason. My instruction trainer could not guess. But once I faltered when he told me to turn left ,I showed the “wrong” indicator to right…he was angry .i said with a guilty smile “ Oh! I thought you said right” . On the first day of my driving in US we hardly knew any laws there .My roomies and I used to discuss the laws and follow them real time . Many Americans protested against me by honking ! the very first day my honking count had crossed 10 . It subsided to zero eventually. Driving in US without a GPS is crime . We were lost thousand times and there is no one on the road to guide you. We had taken lot of precautions by taking maps and everything . Once it turned out that I had held the map upside down. I would certainly qualify for the worst navigator in the world. Back seat driving is one of the few problems faced by me. I get instructed at every turn and every square. Female species are the worst . They keep on shrieking at the slightest mistake ( Man I am a human!).One of my friends even complained that I drive too slow! Well that confused my ego!
chapter 8: the addendum
Well I am not here to prove any point .this is what just came to my mind ! Hope I just keep on driving to my best and put all the controversies to the rest!