Wednesday, October 7, 2009

10 actors designed to destroy a film

I believe all the actors of the world have equal talent.Its just that they use their talent in a different manner.Haha I was joking truth is that only 2.32% of the industry has the real talent rest of them just go along the 2.32% to pull thru the film.But few of them really cannot be pulled by these 2.32, however hard they try.These people are the real destroyers.They destroy a film even before the script is ready ( if there is one ) or they put their eyes on the camera. Its not that they lack something , they lack talent! They are the ultimate crowd repulserers.I still wonder what gets them hired? huhh...Heres a list of top 10 destroyers

1. Sohail Khan : An actor of immense talent.He is a self made man.He is not only an actor but he is a producer of class ( might b this explains why he is hired).He has produced films :
All of these films need no introduction .They all are in the class of The Godfather. Only thing is that our illiterate Junta doesn't understand their significance.These films broke all the distributors instead of box office. Few committed suicide alongside the audience.
Now coming to his acting.It is simply par excellence.He is able to convey all the emotions ranging from extreme sadness to maniac depression and channel these emotions to the audience in the form of pure rage.It is normal to see people bursting out of the cinema in anger!
I was fortunate enough to see few of his films in intercity bus where one has no option but to see the film. Due to heavy demand for his fotos I could grab just half :( . I can very well say he is the best amongst the 3 brothers which are a part of this coveted list. This multifaceted actor also writes!! FYI he was the writer of the cult classic "Hello Brother" Must watch for everyone with good taste.I would say keep up the good work!

2. Ishrat Ali :You would say WTF ? Who the hell is Ishrat Ali? He has a stronger screen presence than you think. I became a fan of him after I saw his film "GUNDA" one of the real classics. His dialogues really touched my heart. His tagline was "Mera naam hai LAMBU ATTA ! deunga tuze maut ka chata ". He is simply huge in the film and after mithun , all the film revolves around him.
In Gunda, he is the gangster who by mistake rapes Bulla's sister. Then Bulla alsong with his other mates corners him in a Chawl .Lambu tries to reason a lot with bulla "Roti hoti hai khane ke liye....boti hoti hai chabane ke liye...ladki hoti hai......******" .Still bulla wants to kill him!! WTF..now lambu tries more than this he says "Mai tere liye ladkiyan laaunnga...tu muze chil chal ke hijda bana deena" And does a kathak ( some dancing talent here ) but suddenly and oddly bulla stabs a knife in his KIDNEYS!

Besides Gunda he has also worked in 71 different films!!!!! Ranging from greats like "Bichhu" to "Krantiveer" !

3. Celina Jaitley : Well she was given a break by the legendry Feroz khan the "desi cowboy". Unfortunately she needs a break every now and then.She is not very rich and therefore has not much to wear. She also has an affinity for short-shorts ;) . Well there is not much to write about her talent. she does best what she is best at...standing besides fardeen! Ya some people suspect she the actve member of LGBT community .Dont be amused to see her in parliment within few years. Trust me she even has a fan site...


4. Shakti Kapoor : AaaaOUUU Shaktiii! needs no introduction. Wat an actor ,what an actor! In raja babu as the Nandu with a "Nada" to "Chutiya" in Gunda . He is sort of urban legend and had one hit film which I dont remember. He is a legend because he has survived more than 500 flops but not as a hero. Recently he was caught on a casting couch scandle ! poor shakti was made a target of the media ! well which man would not like to "take advantage" of "helpless" "girls" ( except for the one above) ( Mind the quotes! ).In gunda he plays a role of eunuch with a pony tail .Thats why he is chutiya ( not what you think! ). He becomes a "man" with "the pill" n does what a normal man in gunda does ! His different facet emerged in film Raja babu as a side kick of another legend in the business Mr Govinda .All he does is wears a bermuda with suggestively hanging Nada.Though he did play a good role in Andaz apna pana as Mr Gogo but it does not help much..lets hope he rambles on...

5. Govinda : How could we forget govinda aka Chi Chi.He was the hero of the masses. He is the living great! He started very early as a stick and now he is BOX and tending very much to a CUBE. He is the hero of the great "No 1" series : coolie No 1,Hero No 1 ,Biwi no 1 .He has a style statement rather a style paragraph of his own .He invented the Red suits and yellow ties and blue shirts . he is a sort of vince Van Gough in colours.He is known for his dancing. He ll suit any acting role given to him.I am sure he can very well play Forrest in forrest gump or Oskar von Schindler in Schindlers List ( where david dhawan would be directing ). He has not changed his acting since 70's and still dances with actresses 10% his age ! Few years back he contested for elections and won and worked so hard that.....he again became an actor! but this time he was much cooler ( not that he was not cool before ) with two earrings in both the ears! I am sure he ll act or next 100 years

6. Antara Mali and Nisha Kothari : These two "women" share the same spot .I donno why but logically they seem to be connected to something , I just cant figure out what .Rumor is tht Antara mali was discovered while she was begging on the street for food .Well it could be a true story ! she did some 10 super hit films to realise the ultimate truth ! One also needs other kind of talent to survive in this industry (I was talking about acting!) .Her classics include "Mein madhuri dixit banna chahati hun" which she knew was quite impossible. Her inner anexieties were reveled in her box office hit "Mr Ya Miss".Since 2005 shez dormant
Nisha URF priyanka is just a gem in skimpy cloths !

7. Fardeen Khan : Well he had his father who hired him .Launched him with a bomb shell due to which his first film bombed! later on the bombs kept falling. His dialogue delivery is impeccable! only thing that he does not lack is is height...he is estimated to be around 7-8 feet tall !! He keeps on giving guest appearances in the films he STARS !!! he wont run much and might turn to directing/producing soon !


8. Himmesh : Apna himmesssh bahi is an actor of calibre ! he has never given hope of being at the top .Well it is very much possible .I am just waiting for Radio to come out! It was again romoured that none of the actresses were willing to work with him ! not even celina ! finally some two gals agreed ! he was so grateful that he hired them both .This was the first time the son of gujrathi soil removed his cap to reveal his toupe or hair whatever...there is a famous dialogue in radio.."What is your relationship status?" he says .."Its complicated!" well we all know that.
Then there is the song...mann ka radio that has already hit the airways! His first movie was "aap ka saroor - a true luv story" .All the truck and rickshaw drivers went crazy over this movie! they used to wait outside the theaters to take ppl home for free!!! such is the following . He surely has a long way to go to realise the TRUTH .I wish him best of luck right from depths of my nose.

9. Bobby and Sunny Deol : cousins of famous Abhay deols,are famous for delivering heavy dialogues, making their own scripts , directing their own movies ,acting in their own movies and watching them them selves! They along with Dharmendra paaaji are industry in themselves ! Bobbys acting in Bichhu was nominated for golden globe and academy awards. He played a role of freelance assisn with morals .He along with then heavy weight rani mukherjee delivered a super duper hit.He will go a long way unfortunately! Sunny has degraded in a slow manner with punching a man and truck at same time,Catching bullets and pulling handpumps.He dosent give up his dhai kilo hand .

10. Salmaan Khan : Well if you dont know him you are a nut! It is very easy to spot him, it would be some one who speaks english in american accent and even hindi in american accent !!
He along with his two talented brothers have a production house to keep them all employed. At one time salmaan was really talanted but has been going downhill since long.Actors improve with age but salmaaan is non-conformist. He has choosen to degrade him self. Now he is jumping up and down on your TV set. He has more than 2 decades of experience .He was launched with "maine pyar kiya" he just climbed the hill then it was time to come back down with "maine pyar kyun kiya" to cult classic "Hello brother" .It is said that even the director and cameraman did not see the movie! Amazing!
Other than the controversies and girlfriends he is clean as awhiteboard! He will be a 40yr old rock star along with ajay in his next film 'LONDON DREAMS' ! just waiting for it !