...an year gone by.

Last year, at the end of 2009, I was writing a similar blog...Fake introspection. I don't believe that by introspecting, you can improve anything....I wont stop spending on things that I don't need,will I? Introspection is for weak people who are not willing to accept what they are and want to make themselves better in the eyes of the society which doesn't  care for them! Anyways my year 2010 was full of roller-coaster rides in the truest sense (I went to SFO at that time with my pals). After a pathetic new year in an Airport what else do you expect? ( don't even get me started on pathetic new years!!). My year started with being surrounded by the opposite gender. Office work of manner which would the suit laziest bum in the world...which is me. There was time for lonely coffee breaks, non-lonely coffee breaks, heart breaks, chats,  phone calls, swearing, jealousies, twists, anger, pain but no time for work! I had a car now that too a working one! What else could a man desire for?? (ahem!! woman!). Life was going on smoothly for me with frequent calls to my mom. I had become a master-chef in adi-dal, adi-chana and now adi-chicken. People used to get hysterical at the sights and smells of adi-dal. Suddenly things started twisting...I got calls from two "GOOD" universities and I time had come to leave this beautiful life. I had two exits "EXIT-MAY", a costly and good exit and "EXIT-AUG", a costly and $#%$% exit. I chose exit-aug for reasons better kept secret.

February was a lovely month of spending valentines day alone amongst friends in PF Chang's but I discovered the best thing ever ( by US standards ) "DYNAMITE SHRIMP". The dynamite shrimp was my valentine. 

March was as usual.....nothing happens in march!! 

April 1st was kind of joke on me but I think I had the last laugh. That month changed all the equations.... friends turned into foes and foes remained foes and tension prevailed...on my dreaded floor. I still tried to remain calm. I know I cannot take back bitching by my "friends" and I didn't . One should remember what goes around comes back around and it did. What a month it was....    

May as usual was hotter in Denver. Temperatures soaring with rage ....as I used to roam around everywhere. It made my superiors hotter. On my freeway, which started in 2005, exit was nearing. I did not care to slowdown. 

June came with unexpected rains and one more fake landmark of birthday. For most of them it meant a sad day, a day closer to old age for me it means pure cake cutting and getting ass-kicked by a broken guy. It was an emotional months with  rains...but my heart beat faster as I landed  amongst known strangers.

July was a month of relative restlessness. Few new steps had been taken. One wrong move would change my life but I did not falter. I juggled few things. I remained quiet and lonely and rejoiced on getting my visa changed. Last day in infy was never what I imagined. I never got a farewell but somewhere that farewell had already begun...

Aug was a month of total change. Bidding bye to my family and rains had become like daily chores. When I landed in Denver I was different man. I had my moments which I enjoyed. But things had changed...Driving alone to unknown was an experience.

Sept - Life changed , things faded...competition had set in. expectations failed. rush began for assistantship. race ....pure rat race. But I was still better off. I had more things that what I had before. I was burnt in heat...Tucson was hot and lonely....all you could see was cactus, skimpily dressed girls who make you feel lonelier.

Oct/Nov - These months I don't remember a thing. Were like a hangover.

Dec - My december..was filled with anger,anguish, inferiority, victory and relief. how would you feel if you know more than your professor...I felt same way. But I still let it go.Breaking a heart is the hardest thing ever... trust me. Freedom is the worst thing if u r idle!

31 st Dec 2010 - 11:59 pm - The Vessel Club - San Francisco . I am standing alone in a club with my friends trying hard to hookup with girls. Each wants desperately to touch a busty girl but is miles away from even talking. Few couples have started to fiddle around in the darkness. Few Indians dressed in their best are trying to mingle with firang gals.  DJ is playing a song which no body understands ...well who cares when you are drunk....I am cursing myself for this unwanted situation but still I know NEW YEAR'S are supposed to be pathetic.

and VOILA....12 am.... 01/01/2011...balloons burst... DJ shouts...drunk girls kiss....and my old year ends.....Alone.....

Lets see what this new year brings for me...its an important year for me...TRUST ME.....